And Then You Move On.

Pitch-black room, bare dirt stained wall,

Half-dead phone with no missed calls,

Tremendous pain, just a few bruises,

No clear-cut memories, did I choose this?

One gentle hug and one comforting whisper,

Dozens and dozens of bottles of liquor.

They’ve all moved on and you should too,

You’re just the millionth case, what did you expect them to do?

Feeling like an imposter drowned in familiar faces,

With every accidental brush, your heart beat races.

He’s moved on and you really should too,

He gave an apology, what more can he do?

A year goes by, it’s gotten better with time,

Or maybe it hasn’t but you’ve perfected the lie,

Vodka induced sleep and recreational pain,

Your go-to recipe for trying to stay sane.

The brutal reality is after it’s done,

After the excruciating pain at your expense is called fun,

After the version of yourself you’ve known for life is all gone,

You just get up the next morning and then you move on.

Prompt: Write About A Thing You Need

Someone told me to write a poem about the thing I need

And all I know are the things I want, things that stem from greed.

Years of a numb kind of drunk

No awareness of a spirit already sunk

Lungs filled with smoke

An empty laugh at a warm joke

The only indulgence I missed

The only discernable mistake

The first name on a long, long list

Was letting you go, allowing it to break.

Confinement

Fifteen reminds me of her long black hair and the splash of freckles on her skin

She’d tie her flannel shirt around her waist before we climbed the chain-link fence

I didn’t know it then, I was too petrified to indulge in a forbidden sin

It was mesmerizing, I stayed on her hook happy to live in suspense.

She had a wild heart, she had a vile mouth and I strangely lived in envy

I was playing a role she was living my truth, I didn’t know what I was feeling.

She tells stories like me but she stretches them out until the fiction becomes almost deadly

It was an unfiltered admiration, a mindless infatuation and then one day it all hit a ceiling.

I liked the parts of her that were wild and free but always kept a little sweetness

There was a wicked side but I turned a blind eye, eager to keep her on a throne in my mind

She’s gone now and I’m grateful for that but I still savor the bits and the pieces,

Because of her I’m forever freed, there’s no version of me living confined.