Thank You.

I get labeled the “bitter” girl a lot so I thought I would try saying thank you for a change.

Thank you.

Thank you for abruptly disappearing when I finally started to venture

Don’t worry, this time I promise I will spare you the lecture.

Thank you for not opening the message we both know you’ve seen,

Thank you for the unfathomable amount of uncertainty you’ve given me.

Thank you for reminding me it’s much safer staying alone.

Thank you for re-introducing me to a lethal rejection I’ve already known.

Thank you for not showing me the wedding band you took off in your car,

Because God forbid you hadn’t, things wouldn’t have gotten this far.

Finally, thank you for labeling me as the crazy one when my back is turned,

Maybe one day I can pay you back for all the valuable lessons I’ve learned.

Thank you.

And Then You Move On.

Pitch-black room, bare dirt stained wall,

Half-dead phone with no missed calls,

Tremendous pain, just a few bruises,

No clear-cut memories, did I choose this?

One gentle hug and one comforting whisper,

Dozens and dozens of bottles of liquor.

They’ve all moved on and you should too,

You’re just the millionth case, what did you expect them to do?

Feeling like an imposter drowned in familiar faces,

With every accidental brush, your heart beat races.

He’s moved on and you really should too,

He gave an apology, what more can he do?

A year goes by, it’s gotten better with time,

Or maybe it hasn’t but you’ve perfected the lie,

Vodka induced sleep and recreational pain,

Your go-to recipe for trying to stay sane.

The brutal reality is after it’s done,

After the excruciating pain at your expense is called fun,

After the version of yourself you’ve known for life is all gone,

You just get up the next morning and then you move on.

How to Write a Horror Story

Hey guys! So I have a new goal…I want to learn how to write a horror story! Normally I come on this blog to teach you how to do something I’ve already taken the time to learn but on today’s episode I thought we could learn together! So throughout the episode I reference an article:

https://blog.reedsy.com/how-to-write-a-horror-story/

This article simply gives tips on how to write a horror story. I also review my progress from January until now when it comes to my writing journey. I talk about what I have done, I talk about my future goals, and I ramble on for a solid 15 minutes about a crazy underdeveloped plot. It’s a lot of fun, come join!

I hope you enjoyed this episode and I will see you in the next one!

P.S. It’s come to my attention that this Podcast is not available in all countries so I was thinking about making it a video podcast and uploading it to YouTube as well so it can reach more people. Let me know if that sounds like something you would enjoy watching!

Confession

I’m afraid that I have unintentionally painted a lie,

Dressed up and celebrated in sweet short lines.

I’ve told countless renditions of our devastating goodbye,

But never once took ownership for the mistake that’s all mine.

I have a habit of hiding behind a wide innocent gaze,

So when a betrayal occurs, you’re the obvious choice to blame.

But I’m guilty of keeping secrets that will make your head spin,

Manipulate a well-meaning love into a game I want to win.

This time these lines are an obvious confession,

Not coated in honey or a victim of my selfish suppression.

I did something wrong and you never even noticed.

I did something unforgivable and it kills me to know this.

How To Shorten Your Poetry

Hey guys! I shared a video today discussing how you can make sure you’re being intentional with your poetry by adding a couple steps to your editing process. Poetry doesn’t need to be short to be good but it needs to be intentional! Feel free to comment your thoughts down below, I can’t wait to hear them!

I made sure to attach the draft I referred to throughout the video so you guys can get a feel for how I personally edit. The perfectionist in me hates uploading a draft because I want everything to be perfect but I really hope you guys are able to use this as a guide to improve your editing process.

Confinement

Fifteen reminds me of her long black hair and the splash of freckles on her skin

She’d tie her flannel shirt around her waist before we climbed the chain-link fence

I didn’t know it then, I was too petrified to indulge in a forbidden sin

It was mesmerizing, I stayed on her hook happy to live in suspense.

She had a wild heart, she had a vile mouth and I strangely lived in envy

I was playing a role she was living my truth, I didn’t know what I was feeling.

She tells stories like me but she stretches them out until the fiction becomes almost deadly

It was an unfiltered admiration, a mindless infatuation and then one day it all hit a ceiling.

I liked the parts of her that were wild and free but always kept a little sweetness

There was a wicked side but I turned a blind eye, eager to keep her on a throne in my mind

She’s gone now and I’m grateful for that but I still savor the bits and the pieces,

Because of her I’m forever freed, there’s no version of me living confined.

Baby Blue

Baby blue tastes like American Spirits and cheap liquor too,

Looking at him I know there’s nothing more I can do.

His jokes are growing stale, his laugh is the quietest in the room

Looking at him I know he’s accepted his own doom.

Baby blue is one more drink, one more mistake from fading away,

And I can’t watch him spiral anymore so he tells me that I can’t stay.

I kiss him on the cheek on his stained leather seats

Choosing to walk alone, willing to bear the Summer heat.

Baby blue has the prettiest eyes even when he’s yelling at me with anger.

I know his longest love will be his lifelong infatuation with danger,

but Baby blue thinks I’m the villain, so he’ll hate me until I’m a stranger.

Reality

When I was a little girl if I had a bad day,

I would simply close my eyes & make it all go away.

I’ve always had this special talent of disappearing into my head

Shifting reality to fit into the story I created instead.

When I opened my eyes again everything was brand new,

I wasn’t really me and you weren’t really you.

With the snap of my fingers I was an actress in a role,

I never used it to be cruel, I just used it when life was dull.

Even as an adult I make up these universes in my head

To escape the monotony, the reoccurring dread.

Every once in awhile I have this sobering, sudden fear

That I’ve slipped far into the role, that reality’s become unclear.

Spring

Every Spring I awaken,

And the water is still.

The grass is growing greener,

And she’s soothed me through the nightmares.

As the cherry blossoms begin to form,

I go somewhere.

I go to him.

A marble statue,

Sitting on a throne.

He’s cold to the touch,

And his voice induces chills.

I close my eyes and hold my breath,

While his tight grip leaves indents on my skin

I don’t leave until the water starts to rise,

And the grass begins to whither.

Until I’m dismissed with his approving nod,

Until I’ve place my spirit in the palm of his hand

Like some sick sacred offering.

Then I lay still in my bed,

And I wait and I sleep,

Until it’s Spring again.

My Most Unpopular Opinions: Poetry Edition

Last week I uploaded a post about some “unpopular” opinions of mine that have to do with fiction novels. This week I’m going to be talking about some more controversial opinions I have about poetry in general. Here are my top 5 unpopular opinions about poetry:

Not all Poetry has to Rhyme

  1. Not all poetry has to rhyme. I saw an article the other day that went into the author’s opinion that poetry has to rhyme to be considered poetry since that is the genre’s defining characteristic to separate it from other styles of writing. It was an extremely well written and well thought out article. However, I disagree! I think what distinguishes poetry from other types of writing is much more complex than that. Visual presentation, different line structures, length, and content are just some of the factors that can distinguish poetry from a different style of writing. I think free verse poetry is an extremely valid structure of poetry, that can be lyrical and has a unique flow without having to rhyme. Some free verse poetry does follow a rhyme or meter structure at least slightly and some does not. However it’s the content of free verse poetry that discusses a topic in depth, appeals to the senses and showcases imagery that in my opinion, makes it a perfectly valid form of poetry.

The Pretentious Environment Turns People Away

2. Poetry’s pretentious environment turns people away. It needs to be discussed. I have a deeply rooted love for poetry and I love to seek out spaces where I can share this love with others. However, especially when I was first starting out and becoming brave enough to join clubs or classes, it was extremely discouraging how snobby the poetry environment can be. If you don’t share a fascination for certain classics or you dare to wander over to the world of contemporary poetry, you are sometimes made to feel like you don’t understand poetry as well as others. I’m here to tell you that isn’t true. Shakespeare is my worst nightmare to this day. I don’t enjoy his content or even the structure of his poetry. I do have an appreciation though for the innovation he brought to poetry and the history that he’s made. This mindset is how more people need to approach poetry. What inspires and fascinates one poet, may completely bore another, but that doesn’t make you a bad poet! It just makes you a poet with different preferences and that is perfectly fine. We should be excited and inviting when someone shares a love for poetry. We should never be guilty of being gatekeepers based off our own personal opinions.

Why do so many People Hate Slam Poetry?

3. Why do so many people hate slam poetry?? I know, I know. I just got done talking about how everyone is entitled to their own preferences and I meant it. I’m not upset at this fact, I’m just truly fascinated why some people hate slam poetry so deeply. I agree that just because you call it slam poetry, doesn’t necessarily make it poetry. Still, I have been in the audience to witness how a passionate reading can infuse a poem with so much life and inspire the audience in a completely different way than written poetry can. I think slam poetry is so mesmerizing and unique. I especially think it’s great when conveying an extremely strong emotion or discussing social issues. If you’re not a fan of slam poetry, let me know in the comments! There’s no judgement here, I am just genuinely curious.

Rap is Poetry

Rap is poetry. Like I’ve been saying throughout this article, poetry comes in so many different forms and I don’t think any of us have the right to gatekeep what “real poetry” is. I don’t think that every single rap song is a poem necessarily but so much of it is. So many rap songs have a consistent rhyme structure, appeal to the senses, showcase imagery, and just in general align with the structure of a typical poem in so many ways. Why are so many people insistent that rap is not poetry? I think at some point we have to be honest about the toxic attitude that can take over the poetry world. When rappers or other poets use explicit language, discuss social issues, or discuss the reality of their economic class, it may not be pretty or romantic but guess what? It’s poetry! You don’t have to like it and you don’t have to read it but we need to give credit where credit is due. There is some legendary poetic talent in the world of rap and it is “real poetry” in every sense.

Poetry Doesn’t Have to be Deep

5. Poetry doesn’t have to be deep. For a brief moment I hated poetry and when I think back to why, it was because in order to be considered a well respected poet it seemed like I wasn’t allowed to have any fun. I have always been a deep thinker with deep emotions and poetry helps me put that into words. I’ve always had a deep love for similes, metaphors, symbolism and those themes are rich in poetry. However, in the words of my mom “Sometimes the water is just blue.” Sometimes there is no symbolism, metaphor, or deeper meaning. Sometimes the water is just blue and I want to write about a silly and meaningless topic just because it’s fun. However, if you want to write poetry with a more complex meaning then go for it! The number one rule to poetry is simple; be authentic. If you’re feeling like you have a heavy heart and want to talk about it then go for it. If you’re having a light hearted day and you want to write a poem just to see if you can pull off a random rhyme structure then do it. I just think we are at our best and our poetry is at its best when we’re authentic and open to other people’s interpretations.

Do you agree or disagree with any of these opinions? Do you have any unpopular opinions of your own? Let me know in the comments down below!